Winning!

Isabella: "Okay. we are going to have a 'good parenting' contest. It's a contest to see who can be the best parent."
Mom: "Yeah, how would one win this contest?"
Isabella: "Well, the parent that makes the rules that the kids can't stand is not the winner."
Emily: "So, whoever is the winner, most likely it will be Mom, will be the best parent!"

Whoo Hoo! Go Mom!

Quote of the Day

Isabella: "Declan, remember the time Jager (our dog) stepped on your cubes?"
Declan: "DON'T TALK ABOUT MY PRIVATES!!!"

Quote of the Day

Declan came home from school with an adorable handmade card for Mothers' Day. He had glued Hershey's kisses inside and the card said something about there being kisses for me.

"Mom, the kisses the card talks about are the chocolate kind, not the other kind."

"You mean that's the only kind of kisses I get? I don't get the schmoochie kind?"

"No Mom. I'm just not that kind of guy right now."

Quote of the Day

Emily: "Mom, what do you like better? Us or our pictures?"
Mom: "Well sometimes that depends on the day"

About ten minutes later...

"Mom, what do you like better? Nobody or us?"

And that, ladies and gentleman, is how you use language carefully to extract a favorable outcome...

Quote of the Day

I walked into the living room and saw Emily doing a weird sort of wiggle with her arms in the air. It was odd enough that I was slightly worried that she was injured or seizing.

"Uh, Em. What are you doing?"

"Oh, hi Mom! I'm hoochie dancing."

Fantastic. Her father will be so pleased.

The Challenges of Underwear

Isa walked downstairs in a t shirt and underwear. That was not disturbing. What was disturbing was that she was wearing her sister's underwear. It wouldn't be a big deal, but Em is half her size. The underwear looked like a Dora the Explorer thong. Exacerbated by the fact that Isa had the underwear on backwards.

"Why are you wearing Emily's underwear?"
"Because she's wearing mine."

What?!?!? What the hell?

"Emily!!!"

She came bouncing downstairs and was, indeed, wearing Isa's underwear. It was sagging so much that she had to hold it up while she stood there. So I looked at my two girls. Girls I often tell people are brilliant. One having to hold her underwear up like a gangster - except that instead of jeans she's OG in pink polka dots. The other in britches so tight that she has a muffin top coming out at every seam. Every seam. Dora looks like some weird acid trip or Dali painting.

"Aren't either of you uncomfortable?!?!"

Cheerful "no" from both of my genius daughters.

"Okay then. When you get dressed for school tomorrow everybody wears her own underwear."

They agreed and bounded back upstairs. Sometimes you just gotta pick your battles.

Quote of the Day

"Declan, what's the matter buddy?"
"I have a headache."
"Yeah?"
"Yep. I had a little headache at school, then the bus really piled on..."
I remember riding the bus as a kid. I'll bet it did.