Anger +1

Declan came downstairs, unaware that I had come home from work.
"Oh hey, Mom. You look angry. What happened?"
"Oh, I just had a very frustrating day."
"Oh. I thought maybe you had your period or something."
"What!?!?"
He quickly vacated my space, muttering to himself.
"And now she looks even angrier."

Fuck Participation

Declan decided to try cross country camp this summer. It's a four-day, free little clinic in the morning sponsored by our school district. Unfortunately, not only was he one of the youngest kids, he also was the only one who wasn't on about four track teams. Apparently, my kid was the only one in the district who thought cross country sounded like something fun to try...

Despite these obstacles, he very much enjoyed the experience. On the last day, they participated in a competitive run of a mile and a half. He came in last. By a whole, whole lot. He was bummed.

"Mom, I couldn't catch anyone."
"Well, what did your coach say?"
"He said that he was really proud of me and that it was good that I'd finished and that he really hoped he would see me again next summer."
"Well, that's very encouraging!"
"I guess. He gave me this stupid green ribbon. It says 'honorable mention'. What most kids don't know is that when you get something that says 'honorable mention' what it really means is 'do better next time'.

Online Shopping

My son just asked if I could buy him something online. I asked him what he needed. "Iron shavings and a neodymium magnet". 

ps - I know that I correctly spelled neodymium because he left me his periodic table so that I wouldn't get confused. He's a nice kid...